Someone get me Joseph (with or without his technicolor dreamcoat), my dream had sub-titles

I’ve known dreams to be weird but this one woke me and had me sitting up thinking. The things Joseph had to contend with when ‘tafsiri-ing’ the pharaoh’s dreams.

I’ve only been sleeping a few minutes when I hear a banging sound. I wake up startled.

There it is again.

It’s my neighbour banging on the wall. I bang back. He bangs back again. I’m thinking, perhaps he’s in trouble.

I’m about to bang back and ask out loud if all is okay when he bangs again. And again. And again.

It then hits me. He’s not banging the wall.

He’s banging his wife.

And on a rickety bed that always, always, let’s me know when he’s getting his groove on.

Thankfully, he’s a one-minute man and after counting only two sheared sheep I’m on my way into dreamland…

I’m walking towards a little wooden shed in the middle of a grassy patch of land. I knock and the wooden door opens.

I step in into this huge workstation. If someone were watching me dream, they would have noticed my frowned brow. How did this small shed become a warehouse? But yet again, this is a dream.

Inside people are busy working on machines and to be honest I don’t know what they are making. I can’t make out any product anywhere. I also notice that these are prisoners in a kind-of and similar to the “Escape from Sobibor” workshops.

When I walked in I wasn’t a prisoner but now I am.

Before too long we are all plotting an escape. It’s simple, we’ll walk out the back door and run the short distance to the gate, which isn’t guarded but has a huge padlock.

One of the prisoners has fashioned a quick-n-dirty padlock-cutter and that night we break out. We run to the gate, cut the padlock and in no time we are running free in town.

How that shed in the middle of a grassy patch of land found itself in tao is for Joseph to tell me.

Lakini, the dream doesn’t end there. Kwanza it goes blank. You know how between scenes there’s a blank part? Hivyo. That’s what I saw in my dream.

When the next scene opens, I am walking between people assembled in parallel lines.

I am collecting clothes. I have no idea what for.

The people gathered there are friends and enemies alike (if I spot Marto, I’m waking up from this dream…nightmare chap chap, but I don’t).

I am being assisted by some guy. We are tight and are bonding like long-time pals. But this friend of mine is a total stranger. I’ve never met him in my short pathetic life. In fact, it’s someone I saw in tao one day. Tulipitana tu. No ‘Hi’. No ‘Excuse me’. No contact whatsoever.

Joseph, can you explain?

Anyway, we collect our clothes and head off to the shed. Yes, the shed we escaped from in the previous scene (“Previously on Modoathii’s dream…”)

Thankfully, the shed is as it was with the same prisoners doing the same thing making the same things. Nothing.

As we walk in we are greeted enthusiastically but everyone is quickly hushed into silence. We don’t want people discovering our escape plan.

WAIT A MINUTE!

Is there de javu in a dream?

JOSEPH!?!

It’s as though what we had done earlier was a rehearsal. (I’ll worry about it when I wake up…and I am)

We start handing the clothes around, which I should mention at this time have changed into foodstuffs. Food rations for when we escape.

Escape plan is still the same. Out the back door, run the short distance to the gate past the guys in the field and into freedom.

Hold it. Now there are people in the field?

Yes.

And they are prisoners like us raking the grass. (Who cut it?) These prisoners are also watching to make sure we don’t escape. Set a thief…(that one at least I can tafsiri)

When I look out the glass portal (sic) in the back door, a scary-looking prisoner stares right back at me. If I were the easy-to-scare types this would be the part I’d wake up screaming.

But I’m an ‘otero’. All I do is duck.

We are now stuck. How do we distract these fellows?

Just beyond the gate to freedom is a highway (Uhuru highway?) and as we are pondering on what to do next, Shuru, my buddy in real life, who once owned a monster motorbike, cruises past noisily.

The prisoners all get excited and look that way. Shortly, just like the sheep I was counting before I slept, they all follow the bike and jump over the picket fence (picket fence?) in hot pursuit.

Here’s our chance.

We all race out the door and make it past the gate. There’s no padlock.

Again, we find ourselves in town. No highway.

This time, however, we are on River Road, that side of Grogon.

I’m running uphill in slow motion. (I never knew how tiring it was to run slow-motion in a dream)

It’s at this time that I look across at one of my fellow escapees and I see it…

“After his escape he went straight for the border of Ethiopia. He now lives with his wife and three kids in Manhattan.”

A bloody subtitle.

I look back just in time to hear a bang and I see an escapee fall down. He freezes and there it is again.

“Mister Paul. Shot as he fled.”

Another subtitle.

I hear the second bang and this time I wake up sweating.

BANG!

Damn! My neighbour is going for seconds.

Haiya people, couch, have you found Jose?

He needs to tell me what this is all about. I don’t care too much for plot of the dream, it’s the freaking subtitles that are worrying me.