the couch

becoz it all becomes clear here!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Suit me, not

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so crazy about that place
Even your emotions had an echo in so much space


I woke up feeling invisible. I wasn’t here. Yet here I am. I check in the mirror and I scream. There, staring back at me is, me! But why did I look so sad? I’m feeling happy. My heart is dancing with joy. But I can’t move my legs. I step into the shower and hope that the water will wash away the sadness away and leave instead in its place my happy inside.

And when you're out there - without care
Yeah I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much


Bliss, I’m out. This is me. Happy. Happy to death. I’m walking on the road. Everyone’s hooting. Everyone’s staring. I wave. No one waves back. I heard this is a friendly society but no one seems friendly today. I try a different tactic. I raise a finger. The finger that signals that what you think is bothering no one but you. No one notices the finger. Everyone is busy looking elsewhere.

Does that make me Crazy?
Does that make me Crazy?
Does that make me Crazy?
Possibly


Everyone thinks I am because I don’t have my sadness on. Sadness bought from a stall in Nairobi. Sadness my girlfriend said makes her happy. I’m not happy. My happiness stands in the closet. More of my happiness is soaked in a basin. My best piece of happiness fell victim to the sharpest pair of scissors in the unforgiving fingers of she that I thought cared.

And I hope that you are havin' the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice


My moment of happiness is over. You caught me. Thanks to the cops and the well-wishers. You are now shouting at me. You are still shouting at me. You take a break when we get there. Enjoy the evening. Mingle. Parade me like a trophy. Your friends like what you’ve done. My friends don’t. Clock strikes twelve. No Cinderella-type antics. I look down. I’m still wearing your happiness. My sadness.

Come on now who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you
think you are, ha ha ha, bless your soul
you really think you're in control


We are on our way home. You continue with the shouting. I look at you and I smile. They told me you were the captain wherever you went. You said and it was done. You still say and I do. Will continue doing. Until the day I look below the sadness and see them there, hanging like lazy sacks. They also told you about me. They said I couldn’t be changed. But you proved them wrong. They also told you I was a pretender. They said he’d do what you want but he’d rebel. You laughed.

well
I think you're Crazy
I think you're Crazy
I think you're Crazy
Just like me


Yes you are. But I won’t clothe you in sadness. I won’t clothe you in my happiness. I don’t picture you walking around feeling sad and looking happy. I picture you looking and feeling sad. Coz you’re not like me. You can’t look one way and feel another.

My heroes had the heart to put their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinkin' I wanna be like them.


Levi and Lee worked hard. They laboured. They sweated. Until finally their break came. Rivets to hold it together. That was the day happiness was born. I’m now working hard. I’m now labouring. And finally I will get my break. My happiness will be reborn. And I’ll be wearing the happiness created by those two. I’ll be wearing my happiness.

But maybe I'm Crazy
Maybe you're Crazy
Maybe we're Crazy
Probably


Maybe I don’t like what I’m becoming. No, I know I don’t like what I’m becoming. What makes me sad makes you happy. Maybe you like what I’m becoming. No, you like what you think I’m becoming. When we’re both happy we are both sad. Is there a common ground? Yes, the abode with them padded walls. Let’s meet there. Though you do know there’s nothing to discuss. Can you leave me be with my jeans torn and unlaundered and I’ll leave you be with your suits pressed and dry-cleaned.

Probably. Probably not.

18 Comments:

  • At 2:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    first of, I ABSOLUTELY HATE THAT SONG.
    Second: I told you not to get rid of marto, now see you are getting crazy!

     
  • At 3:04 AM, Blogger modoathii said…

    you can't hate that song bana. at least, sio na ubaya hivyo. eish! wachana na marto. he's been trying to get a hold of me...i'm almost forgiving him. usijali.

     
  • At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The song is a classic....that I'll give you.....and you Mod shuld just let yourself wallow in her ideals at least if you still want to have your crazy mind to yourself....otherwise u'll lose both the mind and the craziness n that wunt b gud 4 the couch...Wear the suit!!

     
  • At 8:21 AM, Blogger Iwaya said…

    template change noted, template change liked!

     
  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger Don_quixote said…

    Second iwaya's observation, but erm orange ama its another colour.....i want to uliza lakini...what song?
    na hiyo suit ka ni pinstripe usivae kataa kabisa and if you need help i shall help with the law suit againt the suit!!!.
    maybe am crazy,
    yeah am crazy!!!

    By the way si i watched bond and what Egm was talking about aiii am a gal but even i said an ouch, mode of torture is perfect(not that i think it should be practiced)

     
  • At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't quite remember, how I landed here. But, I'm glad, I did. ^-^

     
  • At 10:54 PM, Blogger modoathii said…

    template had to change. i had no choice. nilishikwa masharti. (we don't have guns in the office ama it would have been put to my head)

    orange? i'm a dude and colours threaten our lives. blue, green, orange they all look the same.

    bantutu, suit (unless ni friday) sivai. pinstripe? ziiii! kwani mimi ni lawyer?

    DQ, that's the gnarls barkley song 'crazy'...

    anon, i never know how i get here myself.

     
  • At 1:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Suti sivai! The trauma of being choked in a white (gasp!) shirt, half coat, tie and blazer for 4 years straight is more than enough to last a lifetime. At my last job it was policy, see what happened? I no longer work there. Now what is with the weather? My tees are taking 2 weeks to kauka!

    Dude, the previous template rocked. The greatest peices of art are simple. This one... (looks at page with head inclined to the left with a sneer on his face) ... is not.

     
  • At 2:03 AM, Blogger Unyc said…

    U r Crazy....n we like u crazy 2.
    I think men in suits r sexy but all depends with the cut plus the shirt and the tie....sure makes me drooooolllll....
    As 4 ur template....ulicopy yangu ukachange to colour...i'll call the blogspot freeskis.....hehe...I like it.

     
  • At 6:33 AM, Blogger Klara said…

    Template looks sawas! I had 2 say...Men in suits it's true look sexier...bt casuals can do...

     
  • At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Change is hard, yes?
    Especially when you have think you need to change who you are to make someone else happy.

    I was sad for you by the end of this post. [if this is a real dilemma]

    My dear, you cant please everyone!

    And that song although I dont hate it, I have heard enough of it to last me a lifetime

     
  • At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    template changed again kari kii modo LOL. Looking good. Am with you onthe suits unless i have to

     
  • At 6:48 AM, Blogger egm said…

    I'm with Aegeus on this one. I prefered previous template.

     
  • At 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow. I loved it. dunno if its true or not (i.e if its about ur life) but I wish i could be a pretender. I wear my sadness on my sleeve. Hmm, be careful what you wish for I hear you say. Well. Sigh.

     
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