How to avoid seeing red this Vale's

Of all the three hundred and sixty something days, no other day causes grief like 14th of Feb. Even Christmas ain't this nasty. Even anniversaries are polite.

So we at 'the couch' devised great plans to avoid the Valentine's blues.

Plan One.

One week to Valentine's I always start a dome with mama, that way on 14th bado 'tunafuriana' kama ndao. then come 16th like this, we make up. It's cheaper kwanza, coz now on 16th not only have chocolates and roses teremkad bei but they are now on BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free).

It works for me. So well that every year I have a new mama.

Plan two.

The Magegania Bridge Racer Drink this on 13th jioni and wake up on 15th with a hangie but without a "headache".

Plan three (for the guys on the hunt)

If you are looking for a chick, always wait for after 14th Feb.

Before i could continue giving more ideas I was busted by the mathare attendants and i'm now in a red padded cell in a strait jacket with chocolates sitting invitingly on the table.

I wonder...

What will happen at dinner today considering arsenal are playing? I wonder. Will the arsenal fans have a 'ball' during dinner? Woi alafu washindwe. I pity their mamas. Kuleni dinner mapema.


The author operates a Make Up and Break Up Clinic during his off-the-couch hours. His advise is real and so are the resulting breakups.