the couch

becoz it all becomes clear here!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

How to avoid seeing red this Vale's

Of all the three hundred and sixty something days, no other day causes grief like 14th of Feb. Even Christmas ain't this nasty. Even anniversaries are polite.

So we at 'the couch' devised great plans to avoid the Valentine's blues.

Plan One.

One week to Valentine's I always start a dome with mama, that way on 14th bado 'tunafuriana' kama ndao. then come 16th like this, we make up. It's cheaper kwanza, coz now on 16th not only have chocolates and roses teremkad bei but they are now on BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free).

It works for me. So well that every year I have a new mama.

Plan two.

The Magegania Bridge Racer Drink this on 13th jioni and wake up on 15th with a hangie but without a "headache".

Plan three (for the guys on the hunt)

If you are looking for a chick, always wait for after 14th Feb.

Before i could continue giving more ideas I was busted by the mathare attendants and i'm now in a red padded cell in a strait jacket with chocolates sitting invitingly on the table.

I wonder...

What will happen at dinner today considering arsenal are playing? I wonder. Will the arsenal fans have a 'ball' during dinner? Woi alafu washindwe. I pity their mamas. Kuleni dinner mapema.


The author operates a Make Up and Break Up Clinic during his off-the-couch hours. His advise is real and so are the resulting breakups.

17 Comments:

  • At 12:35 AM, Blogger bantutu said…

    Man now my morning is made LOTFR at the cell...umenirausha!! Hihihi!!
    Watu wa Ass na Ali Hihihi!! Wamange mapema....
    Saa sina tafash...Vale iko orda!!

     
  • At 4:51 AM, Blogger Mocha! said…

    I will remember Point One since Milo has paired us up for the day....LOL!

    See you next year you!

     
  • At 5:25 AM, Blogger Prousette said…

    Make up and break up clinic...LOL.

    Happy Vals.

     
  • At 6:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Modo, what are you upto? and don't go putting on that innocent expression. it's Val's day!

     
  • At 6:32 AM, Blogger Pea said…

    Hahahaha! That footnote!!! LOL... Bantutu, LOFTR... you guys are HILARIOUS! I miss Kenya... it's blogs like these that keep me sane, I promise! Happy Val's.

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Don_quixote said…

    LOl way to go Bantu Watu wa Ass en All will have mob shidaz.

    @Modo imagine i had never read teh magegania bridge racer post, aki it made my day and as for valentine lol, i will play advocate for you coz i can the law suits coming your way.

     
  • At 10:51 PM, Blogger modoathii said…

    bantuts, too bad wa marasa walitoboa. so vale must have been exceptionally good for them 'arses'

    mocha, i'd love to know how that went with my cell mate.

    prou, it's thriving

    iwaya, welcome back. who me? i'm up to nothing. (the innocent look persists)

    pea, stop justifying your insanity. kwanza walio mathare ndio wako sane.

    the don, those were the wild days. ever since i started business i've been getting threats. did i mention i also do therapy after the breakup? for the ladies only.

     
  • At 2:01 AM, Blogger Girl next door said…

    What wicked advice...I think some dudes have already taken it to heart.

     
  • At 4:57 AM, Blogger Jadekitten said…

    LOL at BOGOF....good thing I read your post after vals...Kuna vile...he he...

     
  • At 12:28 AM, Blogger Unyc said…

    We watch ur language man useless!!!heheee...
    Vals ws mzuri...we won...ARSENAL...
    Mafans wa Arsenali...banjukeni vilivyo...

     
  • At 12:51 AM, Blogger modoathii said…

    GND, it get the results you desire. hehe.

    jade, i'm sorry you read it late. haha.

    unyc, me? man u? ata afadhali ni-support bolton, ama wigan. hiyo ni matusi.

     
  • At 3:34 AM, Blogger Chatterly said…

    i pity the chicks of the dudes who followed your advice..no. 1 & 2 LOL! very cunning eh? :-)

     
  • At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Where was this when i needed the advice? Tsk! Tsk!

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oops that was me posting as Anon.

     
  • At 6:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    how to avoid seeing red?? what about people like me with no women? did marto have a vals? i want the magegania bridge racer next vals.

     
  • At 4:34 AM, Blogger Unyc said…

    Blogger ate my comment.

    Hook up Bomseh with Marto...his ever inquiring about him..lol

    Pole about the man-useless comment...ati insult...kwani who do u support? Liverfools

     
  • At 9:15 AM, Blogger Komi said…

    I have been enjoying your posts and the comments you leave on other peoples' blogs and I just have to say...nduri mutue mwega. Forgive me but this is what comes to my mind everytime I see your name but it is all good. Keep the madness flowing.

     

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